Living in the 00s

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN THE '00's WHEN: 

1. You try to enter your password on the microwave. 
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a 9 to get  an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
9. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
10. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. 
11. You learn about your redundancy on the 10 o'clock news. 
12. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes/games.
13. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job. 
14. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
15. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
16. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
17. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet. 
18. Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours  boots up. 
19. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in the hospital.
20. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff members your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
21. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
    
     > >> >AND THE CLINCHERS ARE... > > > >
    
22. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
23. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your > >"friends"  
24. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list already, but you don't have time to check so you forward it anyway. 
25. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.