"I would rather have a German division in front
of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend
Paris?
A: Nobody knows. They've never tried.
"Going to war without France is like going duck
hunting without your accordion."
Have you heard about the French kamikaze pilot? He's
on his 23rd Mission!
How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light
bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
Q: What would the French call a nuclear explosion in
Paris?
A: Proof that more inspectors are needed.
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army
rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description
was, 'Never shot. Dropped once" ---Missouri Republican Rep. Roy
Blunt
"The French will only agree to go to war in Iraq
after we've proven we've found truffles there." ---Dennis Miller
Q: Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in
France?
A: Germans like to march in the shade.
Q: Then why are the French chopping down the trees
now?
A: The Arabs like to march in the sun.
Q: What does the word "Maginot" mean in
English?
A: "Welcome!"
"You know why the French don't want to bomb
Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears
a beret. He is French, people." --Conan O'Brien
"Some members of Congress are so upset with this
thing with France that they want to impose trade sanctions against
French products. They want to ban French products like Evian. And you
thought Hollywood celebrities were against the war before....!"
"I don't know why people are surprised that
France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't
help us get the Germans out of France!" ---Jay Leno
Q: What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army
as they entered the city in WWII?
A: "Table for 100,000 m'sieur?"
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof'
it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman
DPetty 
